Fishy Politics

(R to L) Joe chases Mao, then invades Germany

Late night History homework does strange things to people. It makes them break pencils. It makes them waste printer paper. It makes them buy ridiculously expensive cappuccino drinks that require the mastery of seven different languages just to order properly. In my case, it is responsible for the naming of my fish.

On a whim yesterday I drove down to Petsmart and bought three Bloodfin Tetras from a lady who thought a good substitute for a fish net was her clenched fist. But after the initial scare, when one of my new fishy friends was practically turned into salmon mousse before finally being released from said clenched fist, I pranced out of the store with a bag in my hand and a happy feeling in my heart.

The Naming of Fish

After a few moments of thought I decided upon names for my fish: Joe, Benny and Mao. These names stemmed from an intense thought process lasting, by some accounts, up to three seconds in length. It was the red fin color that tipped me off, with some help from my history homework sitting beside the tank. My fish were Communists.

Naturally, the first one was named Joe after Joseph Stalin. He is the biggest and bossiest of the group, always nipping and chasing the other two around. Mao is short for Mao Zedong, pugnacious but without Joe's signature flair. The last fish, however, was tricky. He is pale, not red like the other two, and sits shivering by the filter while the others command the tank. If he does fight, he often changes sides, a sort of fishy Benedict Arnold. I decided to name him after fascist Benito Mussolini. Also, Benny sounded better than HoChi or Fidel.

So now as I sit here highlighting articles and discussing Genesis and Revelation, my three little dictators squabble continuously in the tank next to my computer screen. Joe chases Benny, Benny nips Mao, and Mao invades South Korea. It's all in a day's work for a commie fish.

Now I just have to find a way to tell my mother about them.

Different picture: http://www.geocities.com/elmogeo/joenbennynmaotank.jpg