Yo Quiero Queso

Today I went to the store to buy cheese. But when I went to the dairy section there was not a slice of cheese in sight. After looking around the entire store I finally found it tucked away by the paper towels, light years away from the dairy section.

Now to my recollection, cheese is a dairy product. What was it doing so far from it's kin? It is not a paper product! It is not a medication! Cheese belongs with the milk and cream and fake butter!

And of course the people there are no help whatsoever to a person in search of cheese. If I addressed this problem to them, they'd look at me like "Jeez, woman, what the heck were you thinking? Looking for cheese in the dairy section? Who in their right minds would put cheese in the dairy section?! It's not like it's from cows or anything."

What kind of messed up world do we live in that would classify cheese this way? Not only do we live in a country in which a pizza man can get to a house faster than an ambulance can, but cheese is no longer regarded as coming from good ol' moo juice.

And in retrospect, the cheese did taste rather dry and cardboard-like. Maybe the paper plates next to it were rubbing off on it. Like when dog owners start to look like their pet poodles.